Think Less Laugh More Email Later

Because your inbox will still be full tomorrow.

LAUGH NOW
t-shirt-mockup-featuring-a-smiling-man-leaning-on-a-desk-at-the-office-28959.png
Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream Livin' the Dream

Best Sellers

MOST POPULAR
0FKS2GV Men's Champion Long Sleeve Shirt
plutoniantees.com

0FKS2GV Men's Champion Long Sleeve Shirt

From $40.95 From $40.95
-1 Procrastination Days Unisex Hoodie
plutoniantees.com

-1 Procrastination Days Unisex Hoodie

From $42.95 From $42.95
MSU Masters Unisex Hoodie
plutoniantees.com

MSU Masters Unisex Hoodie

From $39.95 From $39.95
0 Overthinking Black Glossy Mug
plutoniantees.com

0 Overthinking Black Glossy Mug

From $22.95 From $22.95
MSU Brilliance Garment-dyed heavyweight long-sleeve shirt Uncensored
plutoniantees.com

MSU Brilliance Garment-dyed heavyweight long-sleeve shirt Uncensored

From $35.95 From $35.95

Plutonian Themes

ACRONYM_Label_3ba8e856-130c-4409-a22b-67a9dd321ab0.png

Pontificators_Label.png

Procrastinators_Label.png

Master_Stuff_Black_Badge.png

Brilliance_Stuff_Black_Badge.png

Sarcasm_Label_672f46a9-f110-4df0-a9cd-c87e6db71b71-removebg-preview.png

ABOUT

Plutonian Tees

We make tees for people who need a break from pretending to care. Our designs are therapy-adjacent, best worn after 5PM, and absolutely not HR-approved. Perfect for weekend errands, group chats, or silently screaming into the void. Because if you're going to unravel, you might as well look good doing it.

t-shirt-mockup-featuring-a-smiling-man-with-a-beard-at-the-park-28197.png